Road Trip: BBQ Delivered with Attitude (The Unbelievable Mr. Brownstone Book 20) Read online

  James retracted his blade. “I didn’t kill any of them, actually. You did. I was just trying to give them an out. I would have killed them if necessary, and it’s too bad—for them—that it took them so long to buy a fucking clue.”

  Harper wrinkled her nose in disgust at the blood covering her body and legs. “I couldn’t have taken that many guys by myself. They would have shot me the second I went for anything, and besides, this works out better. I’m still going to lie low for a while, but now the Southguards think I have James Brownstone’s protection, which, at a minimum, will keep them from looking for me for a while.”

  He grunted. “You get it, then. You’ve got your second chance, but that doesn’t mean I’m your guardian angel.”

  “Understood, pseudo-Dad.” Harper laughed and pointed at the pieces of car. “So much for my deposit, right? I guess we can call someone to come pick us up. At least my burner phone survived all that.”

  “Nah. I’ll jump us to the border of Austin and then we’ll call someone, but I’m gonna change and go get my coat first.” James nodded. “Come on.” He took one last look at the crater to make sure it wasn’t burning. “We’ll part ways in Austin.” He marched over to the car remains, then reached through the smashed window to grab the other pair of jeans, t-shirt, and boots he had brought along. “At least they have some good barbeque there.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Harper stepped away from a rental counter at the airport, keys in hand. She had a relaxed smile on her face and a bounce in her step as if she hadn’t just been involved in shutting down a dangerous magical war factory and a face-off against ruthless mercenaries. James understood now that much of her personality was a façade, but it was hard for him to believe she would be acting this way after the night they had shared.

  James waited in a seat across from the rental counter. He’d already rented a truck for his return trip. The woman had borrowed James’ gray coat so she didn’t have to explain why her clothes were covered in blood to some random airport rental car employee in the middle of the night. He’d been in that situation far too many times, but after a while, everyone always had the same response: “Oh, I see you’ve been busy again, Mr. Brownstone.”

  Harper dropped into the seat beside him and clapped once. “So this is it. We did it. Saved the world, or at least Austin.” She grinned. “I know a lot of it was my fault to begin with, but it does kind of feel good to have helped people. It feels stupid, but it also feels good. I also think we made a good team.”

  James grunted. “We were a team, but I don’t think we made a good team.”

  She stuck out her lower lip. “Words hurt, pseudo-Dad.”

  “So do magic energy blasts and explosions produced by conjured soldiers.” James yawned. Once he’d unbonded Whispy, a wave of fatigue had crashed over him as if his body needed even more rest after all the adaptations.

  “At least it’ll be a cool story we both can share. ‘Remember that time the Seasons of Rage got dropped in central Texas…’” Harper giggled.

  “I meant everything I said earlier,” James rumbled. “Don’t think you can do whatever you want in the future and run to me for protection. We’re not friends. I just didn’t think you deserved to die at the hands of the Southguards. I expect people to clean up their own messes, and if you believe any of that shit you were spouting in the core room, it means you need to start taking care of your own problems.”

  Harper blew out a breath and shrugged, her stubborn smile remaining. “All wise advice. I don’t have any reason to complain about how this went down. You could have left me there to die, or you could have killed me yourself at any time. You could have never even come along. For that matter, you could have turned me over to the Southguards. They might not be able to take you in a straight fight, but that doesn’t mean they couldn’t screw you. There’s a reason I’m still going to hide out for a while, even with you giving their lackeys the big ‘I’m James Brownstone’ speech.”

  “If they’ve been around for centuries like you and Shay said, that means they know how to pick their fights so they don’t end up getting their asses kicked.” James curled a hand into a fist. “And they have to know not to pick a fight with me. My family has a way of ending entire groups who think they can win. I’m not worried about the Southguards. They better hope they never get in my face again, or they can join the list.”

  Harper rubbed her shoulders. “I almost get chills when you talk like that. What can I say? It’s pretty badass. Thanks for everything. When things calm down, maybe we’ll see each other again. You’re interesting in a weird, judgmental, ass-kicking way.”

  “I hope not,” James replied. “If I never see you again, it’ll be too soon.”

  She let out a merry laugh. “Ouch. You didn’t even hesitate when you said that.”

  “I opened a restaurant and settled down because I wanted a less complicated life,” James explained. “You complicate things, and not in a good way. I hope you can clean up your life, but I also hope you do that far away from me. Maybe in a different country.”

  “Who knows? Maybe I’ll open a barbeque restaurant. This courier gig seems a little tired, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to take blind jobs again.”

  “A vegan’s gonna open a barbeque restaurant?”

  “Sure. Why not? We can have things like barbequed eggplant and tofu.”

  James grimaced. “That’s almost worse than releasing the Seasons of Rage.”

  Harper offered him a final infectious grin before she spun on her heel and walked away, waving. “Bye, pseudo-Dad. Congrats—you made me a better person.”

  James watched her as she walked through the doors to the parking lot. She disappeared into the mass of cars. He was still waiting for his rental truck to be fueled.

  Silver party trays covered the table in front of James. Combined, they contained everything a man who had helped saved central Texas needed: ribs, brisket, and pulled pork sandwiches. He’d stopped by Franklin BBQ on his way out of town, and after taking a picture with the owner, had placed his massive order. A good sleep had taken care of his fatigue, but he’d woken up with his stomach growling louder than he did. His only regret was that he didn’t have a cooler.

  Maybe I should go buy one and come back, so I can bring ribs for my trip back to LA.

  James gnawed on a rib as he pondered the possibility. He wasn’t sure it was necessary since there were plenty of other barbeque places he planned to hit on his way back, especially now that he’d lost his vegan partner and didn’t have to limit his restaurant time to one hour. It might be fun to have ribs in between, though. He tossed a finished rib on his plate, putting aside the cooler idea for the moment.

  This is what a road trip is supposed to be, just me hitting the road and enjoying some barbeque. Maybe visiting some friends. I should stop off in Vegas. It’s been a while since I talked to Trey face to face. We should arrange some sort of agency-wide mud-pit battle shit like we did in the old days. It’d be fun. Everything’s almost corporate at the agency now.

  James grinned, earning a few odd looks from a couple of the other customers but no direct comments. He didn’t care. They could just assume he was really into the barbeque. His phone buzzed. He grumbled and pulled it out of his pocket, expecting an unknown number that would turn out to be Harper crying about already being in trouble and needing him to bust into some Nine Systems Alliance cyborg factory.

  ALISON BROWNSTONE

  James’ brow furrowed in confusion as he brought the phone to his ear. “I thought you were getting ready to go on vacation? You shouldn’t be wasting time talking to your pse…Dad.”

  Damn it, Harper.

  “Mom’s in labor,” Alison announced. “She has been for the last twenty-four hours.”

  James shot out of his seat, the chair falling back and clattering on the floor. A hush fell over the restaurant as the other patrons and waitstaff looked his way, their faces filled with concern.

  “It
’s way early,” James shouted. “They didn’t say anything about it being this early. Is something wrong with the baby?”

  A murmur swept the room at the mention of the baby. Several people clasped their hands and started praying.

  “No, not that they’ve told us,” Alison replied. “The doctor says all the vitals are looking good for Mom and the baby.” She sighed. “It’s just early. We both know there could be a lot of reasons for that, and I don’t think freaking out is going to help. The labor may have started early, but it has been progressing slowly. You still can get here if you hurry.”

  “Great barbeque,” James exclaimed to the room. “But I’ve got an emergency.” He reached into his wallet, yanked out a stack of bills, and dropped them on the table to pay for his meal before heading toward the exit, stomping like an angry bull. “Twenty-four hours? Why the fuck am I just hearing about this now? I could have already been back there.” He threw open the door, his dark glower parting the crowd in front of him as he headed toward the rental pickup truck.

  “Because Mom specifically didn’t want you distracted while you were saving Texas from getting overrun by ancient Oriceran invasion artifacts,” Alison explained, contrition in her tone. “She specifically said you would come right away, and you would regret it when some town got wiped off the map by the Seasons of Rage.”

  “That’s bullshit,” James growled. “My family comes first. Always. The entire rest of the world can burn when it comes to my family.”

  “It was her call, Dad.” Alison sighed. “She called me. I happened to be with Rasila. She portaled Mason and me down to LA. I’d have her portal you, but she said she had something to take care of on Oriceran.”

  “I was done taking care of the artifacts last night,” James complained. “You could have told me then.”

  “Sure, but we didn’t know everything was fine until I got your text a few minutes ago.”

  James gritted his teeth and scrubbed a hand down his face. He reached into his pocket and pressed the open button on the key fob. The door clicked, and he slid into the driver’s seat of the red pickup. “Damn it. I was just tired. I figured if anything important happened, Shay would call me, so I didn’t bother. It never occurred to me she might go into labor so soon.”

  I’m gonna miss the birth of my own kid!

  “What’s your plan?” Alison asked. “You going to use the portal stone Mom gave you? Your best bet is to just portal back to the house, and then you can drive from there. If you were truly magical, we could try to set up some sort of beacon for your portal at the hospital, but I don’t think you’ll be able to pull it off with that kind of artifact.”

  “I already used it,” he admitted.

  “All of this has really impressed on me that I need to improve my technique so I can start portaling.”

  James grunted. “It’s not your fault I’m not there. I’m driving straight to the airport, and I’m going to take the next supersonic flight to L.A.” He started the truck. “I can handle a little flying to be there when my kid is born.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  James barreled into the birthing suite, two panicked-looking nurses tugging on his arms. He whipped his head around, seeking his wife, his pulse racing. They’d been so careful, and yet he might have missed the birth of his son.

  A pale Shay sat up in the bed, sweat covering her forehead. Alison stood there, holding her hand. A doctor sat on a stool in front of her. They all looked at James in surprise.

  “Mr. Brownstone!” one of the nurses exclaimed. “You can’t just—”

  “I’m not missing the birth of my kid,” James bellowed. “I dealt with a lot of shit the last couple of days to help other people out, but now I’m here to see my kid born.”

  “Shut the fuck up!” Shay screamed. “I’m giving birth here, and the only one who gets to fucking scream is me. Got it?”

  The nurses and James winced. Alison snickered and shook her head.

  The doctor appeared unfazed. He returned his attention to his patient. “We’re almost there. Shay, just keep pushing. Everything’s looking great. Both the baby’s heart rate and yours are textbook. I know this has been a long, painful process, but we’re so close now. Just keep pushing. You can do it.”

  “Wait.” James blinked a few more times and moved opposite Alison to take Shay’s other clammy hand. “I didn’t miss it?”

  “You missed me being in horrible pain for a solid day,” Shay muttered. “But you didn’t miss the birth. It’s like the damned kid was purposely stalling until you got here. ‘I want my daddy to see me all slimy when I’m born.’” She related the last sentence in a mocking tone, then grimaced. “I’m really starting to regret deciding on a no-magic, no-drug birth.”

  They’d had a brief discussion about it. The use of pain suppression magic during birth was becoming more common, even though there hadn’t been full studies of the potential side effects on human babies. Their concern stemmed from a different source. Given the unusual parentage of the baby, they couldn’t be sure of an unexpected reaction, so they had elected to go all natural.

  “I can still do something, Mom.” Alison squeezed her hand. “Maybe a spell that just works on your mind.”

  “I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that.” The doctor frowned. “Even if you confine it to her mind somehow, there will be downstream biological effects. Neurotransmitter-level changes and that sort of thing.”

  “I appreciate the offer, Alison, but no.” Shay shook her head. “There are too many variables with this kid and he’s already coming a month early, so the last thing we need to do is start mucking around with spells.”

  Alison sighed. “Fine, but the offer’s there.”

  The doctor looked relieved. “I think it’s for the best. We’re very close now. I know that seems like small comfort given how long this process took, but it’ll be over soon, Shay. Just keep pushing and help bring your child into the world.”

  “How long the process took?” Shay gritted her teeth. “At least when you’re shot, it doesn’t go on for a day. Why is every Brownstone so stubborn?” She glared at James. “I blame you for this.”

  Alison laughed. “You’ve got some stubborn genes yourself.”

  Shay shot her a dirty look. “Traitor.”

  James’ heart thundered. He barely registered his wife’s words. His strength and power might help him annihilate the dangerous magical soldiers of the Seasons of Rage, but they couldn’t do anything to help him deliver a baby. All he could do was stand there and comfort Shay. He had to trust his wife, the doctors, and his child.

  That’s right. Brownstones are stubborn, and our kid isn’t going to let anything happen to him on the day he’s born.

  “I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I shouldn’t have run off on that stupid mission. I should have been here with you from the beginning. We should have just called the PDA.”

  “If we had done that, the Southguards probably would have gotten their hands on the Seasons of Rage.”

  The doctor looked at James and Shay, puzzled, but didn’t ask for clarification.

  Shay snorted before screaming again, then took a few ragged breaths. “I’m the one who told you to go, and I’m the one who didn’t call. I’m also the one who told Alison not to call you. It doesn’t matter. You’re here now. That’s all that matters. And you won’t have any regrets about not saving Austin from destruction and shit like that.”

  “You’re crowning,” the doctor announced, an excited smile on his face. He cleared his throat. “Though I should warn you, the next stage could take a couple of hours.”

  “Son of a bitch!” Shay shouted. “That’s what you call almost done?”

  “I’m sorry, Shay. It might not take that long, but I just wanted to mentally prepare you.”

  “Stubborn Brownstone here is probably trying to crawl back in.” Shay managed a weak laugh. “Whatever. I’ve been shot, stabbed, fire-balled, death-magicked, and nibbled on by all sorts of weird c
reatures. A baby’s nothing. If I can’t handle this, I have no business calling myself a mother. Besides, I get all these great stories in the future when the kid’s bad. ‘I was in labor for over twenty-four hours, and this is the way you treat me?’”

  James and Alison laughed. The doctor let out a quiet chuckle.

  Shay tried to manage her breathing. Her face became a rictus of pain as she continued to push.

  “I’m here for you, Shay,” James murmured.

  Hours didn’t pass. Stubborn or not, it only took a merciful couple of minutes for the baby to emerge. Nurses and the doctor crowded Shay, blocking James’ view.

  Damn it. We waited all this time. What is the baby?

  A shrill cry cut through the room. A new Brownstone had entered the world. A huge smile took over James’ face. Somewhere, a group of future thugs was shivering in fear, and they didn’t even know why.

  Tears welled up in Shay’s and Alison’s eyes. The doctors and nurses wiped the baby down and handed James a pair of surgical scissors. He could barely hear them as they directed him to cut the umbilical cord. They clamped the cord and lifted the baby so Shay could see.

  Should I have told her before she saw it?

  “It’s a boy,” she murmured, her cheeks stained with tears. “A beautiful boy.”

  Alison wiped away some tears. “A little brother, huh? That’s perfect.”

  “A balanced family,” James whispered. “A perfect daughter, and now a perfect son.”

  The tiny pink-cheek boy had a head full of soft black fuzz. He sobbed, squinting and writhing, angry at being born when he was just trying to keep his life simple. Now he’d been thrust into a complicated new world he didn’t understand. It was pissing him off.