The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus Read online

  I can’t win like this. Maybe if I can go for the throat?

  Zavan sneered. “We can keep you alive and in agony for far longer than you could imagine.”

  “That’s why I’m the nicer guy. I’m just gonna fucking kill you quick-like.”

  The Drow all raised a hand behind them and thrust them forward in unison. Three dark bolts shot toward James and slammed into him. He grunted, but unlike the first shadow bolt attack, the energy projectiles didn’t pierce his body. They dissipated like smoke on the wind. Only the jolt of the impact near his original chest wounds produced pain.

  The trio frowned and launched another volley. James grunted and stepped back. He fired a couple of rounds into Reyal and Kaella to force them back and then emptied the rest of his clip into Zavan. The Drow jerked several times and collapsed to his knees coughing up blood.

  Just need to overwhelm their defenses. Damn. Wish I had a magical sword about now. I could have already won. Fucking Drow.

  James sprinted to the side and fired off a few more rounds before tossing another grenade. This time the dark fields around the Drow shifted to opaque domes. The grenade exploded, and when the flame and smoke cleared, the three enemies remained unaffected.

  Zavan sucked in deep, labored breaths. “The problem with any trick is that it only works once.” Some of the shrapnel fell out, and the wounds began to close.

  “I could say the same thing, asshole.” He winced at the throbbing in his chest and shoulder. “How about this?” The bounty hunter holstered his pistol and tried a throwing knife. The knife bounced off his dark field and fell to the ground.

  Zavan had the gall to roll his fucking eyes at James.

  I’m so gonna smash your smug Drow face in, you asshole.

  James reached for his K-Bar and realized he no longer had it. It lay on the ground several feet away. He hadn’t even realized he’d lost it during Zavan’s shadow shotgun attack.

  Reyal and Kaella charged either side of him, slashing with shadow blades. Gritting his teeth, James forced his left arm to parallel his right as he blocked the attacks. The slashes stung but didn’t bite deeply into his skin. The two Drow women followed up with two quick slashes and a stab each. He booted Reyal to the side and threw his elbow into Kaella’s face, sending her crashing to the sand.

  Both scrambled back to their feet, murder in their red eyes.

  What’s with me and fighting red-eyed assholes lately?

  Fuck. Zavan’s the only one I’ve even slowed down, and he’s already healing. Maybe I should run and take the potion. If I can use my left arm, at least I’ll have a chance.

  Kaella’s shadow blade disappeared. She raised one hand above her. Blue-Green flames appeared around it. Reyal matched the gesture, as did Zavan. A moment later, a blast of blue-green energy shot from each of them in a coordinated attack on James’ left leg.

  Burning agony consumed his leg, and James fell to one knee. The joint Drow attack had left a large hole in his pants, but it hadn’t pierced his leg like the shadow bolts. Instead, a good quarter of an inch of tissue was missing, like they’d taken gritty magical sandpaper to his upper leg.

  James took several deep breaths and forced himself back to his feet. “You fuckers need to finish me off if you want to win. Otherwise, I’m just gonna keep getting back up and ruining your day.”

  They didn’t move. Instead, another joint attack blasted into his other leg. The energy burned another hole, but only singed the top of his leg.

  The amulet’s whispers had vanished, replaced by blasts of emotion, or at least that’s how James perceived it. Happiness. Satisfaction.

  James grunted, having noticed an important pattern.

  Guess you fuckers only get one shot before Mr. Masochist figures it out.

  He stumbled toward his K-Bar on the ground. Tenebrous blasts shot from behind the Drow, and the trio flew toward him with their legs out. They crashed into him with powerful kicks, sending him to the ground but not accomplishing much other than annoying him and making his existing wounds ache.

  They followed with intricate movements of their arms and hands. Dozens of small black orbs blasted from the dark nimbuses surrounding the Drow and pelted James, stinging and burning him. When they struck an uninjured area he barely noticed, but more than a few slammed into his wounded leg, arm, and chest.

  Fuck.

  James groaned, the pain building. The Drow pressed the attack, a hungry gleam in their eyes.

  “I’m impressed, Brownstone,” Zavan managed after coughing up more blood. “You should be dead many times over, yet you still are moving. No human is this tough. I sense something odd about you, but I can’t begin to explain it. It’s like nothing I’ve ever encountered.”

  “Glad I could fucking entertain you,” James managed through gritted teeth.

  The bounty hunter fell to one knee. The Drow changed their movements, and the orbs separated into dozens of smaller pellets before hitting James.

  He hissed in pain, falling forward. He’d been able to ignore and gut-check past his pain before, but the near constant bombardment of the shadow comets left his entire body screaming, every nerve cell on fire.

  The amulet had finally gone silent both in whisper and emotion.

  Even you have your limits, Mr. Masochist?

  The Drow attack finally ended. Kaella marched up to James and glared down at him. She reared back, and impenetrable darkness surrounded her foot. Another powerful kick snapped his head back and sent him flying.

  James rolled several times following his hard impact, the motion jarring his other wounds.

  He used his good arm to push himself up. He managed a weak snort. “What’s wrong, Zavan? Letting the women do all the work?”

  Shit. Glad Shay wasn’t here. I’d never fucking hear the end of it.

  Zavan’s steps remained unsteady and not all his wounds were healed, but he looked far less pained than earlier. James was losing the war of attrition.

  “You’ve lost, Brownstone.” Zavan let out a dark chuckle. “But this defensive magic you have is exquisite. It’ll serve our purposes well, and it’ll make torturing you all that more interesting.”

  “Glad I could bring a smile to your face.”

  Kaella thrust her palm forward. A dense black orb shot toward James. It exploded in a ball of blue-green fire and knocked him back. Blood dripped from several new wounds.

  The amulet broke its silence with an excited whisper.

  Every part of the bounty hunter’s body throbbed. It was hard to concentrate, and his vision wavered.

  Zavan stepped in front of Kaella and put his arm out. “Don’t kill him. We still need to question him. Besides, it’ll be more entertaining to kill him slowly.”

  24

  Maria rested the railgun over her armored shoulder. She slid back the charging bolt and waited for the telltale hum.

  “Work, you damned piece of junk. I’ve got some Drow to waste.”

  You should watch your backs better, assholes.

  She squeezed the trigger, and the loaded round roared out of the weapon. Zavan didn’t even have time to look before a hypervelocity shot slammed into him. He flew through the air with a new hole in his chest.

  Maria ducked when Reyal and Kaella blasted shadow bolts at her. The other AET officers charged from opposite sides, opening fire with stun and assault rifles. Bullets rained on the three Drow.

  The lieutenant would have loved to have the help of a few rocket drones, but hitching a ride with the National Guard meant leaving a lot of equipment back home. It was obvious Brownstone would have been a corpse if they’d tried to drive to the Salton Sea.

  James crawled away. Even from a distance, Maria could tell he was torn up.

  Fuck. Sorry, Brownstone, we got here ASAP.

  He reached into a pouch on his singed tactical belt and pulled out a tiny glass bottle.

  A healing potion? That’s some expensive shit, Brownstone.

  James gulped down the contents
of the bottle.

  “Need to distract them so he can heal,” Maria radioed.

  The other AET officers continued to rain fire on the Drow, but they didn’t seem to be doing much damage. Maria threw a sonic grenade at Zavan, but it bounced off the shield dome he’d erected.

  Thirty seconds later, James’ clothes looked like he’d been run through a shredder, but his wounds were gone. He jumped to his feet and scooped his knife off the ground.

  Yeah, Brownstone. I’m not going to let you ever forget how I saved your ass. Now help end this shit.

  Maria readied another railgun round and initiated the charging cycle on the weapon. The unreliable piece of junk might not be her first choice in a fight, but it packed a punch.

  Reyal leapt into the air, four wings of shadow springing from her back. Bullets pelted her, and she hissed. A wave of exploding black orbs shot from her hands, forcing several of the AET back.

  James opened fire on the flying Drow, forcing her attention to him.

  “Brownstone, why won’t you die already?” she shrieked.

  Maria snickered. I’ve asked myself that so many times.

  The Drow’s wings vanished, and she dropped to the ground, landing on one knee with a smirk, a wave of black energy blasting around her. The energy knocked back several nearby AET officers, their deflectors darkening.

  Shit, not again!

  Maria relaxed when the men crawled to their feet. A few had to be helped, but no one was dead, and none of the deflectors were shattered.

  We can win this shit, even with three of these Drow bastards. We’ll show them the power of humans.

  Reyal crossed her arms in front of her and thrust out. A massive blue-green orb of flame shot toward James, crackling and roaring.

  Maria grimaced as the fireball exploded around the bounty hunter and sent his body tumbling, his clothes smoldering. His backpack slipped off, its straps mere burning threads now, and a small box flew out, smashed on the ground and cracked open. Something spilled out of it.

  James pushed off the ground, not acting like a man who’d been in the heart of an explosion. His expression was more annoyed than pained.

  You’re one tough sonofabitch, Brownstone.

  The lieutenant activated her goggles’ magnification mode and focused on the contents of the box. Had the bounty hunter brought along some secret and powerful magical artifact? They could use any advantage.

  Wait. Is that a damned clown figurine? What the fuck, Brownstone? You were out antiquing when Drow were hunting you?

  Kaella screamed in frustration. She charged up the sloping lakebed toward several AET officers. Their stun bolts and bullets did little to slow her.

  The railgun hummed.

  “Now we’re talking,” Maria murmured. She aimed at the charging Drow and blasted her. Kaella spun several times in the air before hitting the ground. She pushed herself up, shadowy tendrils beginning to knit the hole in her leg closed.

  Zavan pushed himself off the ground, his previous wounds all but gone, though his movements were slower than before. He flung out his arm. A half-dozen black orbs shot toward Maria, exploding around her and knocking her to the ground.

  She blinked, trying to clear the stars out of her eyes. She hissed at the pain and glanced down at her deflector. It was cloudy but still functional. Her armor was scorched and pitted, and one of her lenses was cracked. The railgun was bent, with part of the metal melted.

  More expensive shit they are going to bitch at me about. Maybe the next one we buy will work better.

  “All units, I’m going to provide you some cover,” Maria transmitted through her headset. “When I give the signal, switch to your anti-magic bullet magazines.” And even more expensive shit. “And trust me, you’ll know the signal when you see it.”

  Maria grabbed a small pink gem from her tactical belt—a little gift from Dannec.

  Time for a Light Elf surprise, assholes.

  She arced the gem toward the Drow. A few yards out it exploded in a shower of scintillating particles. The Drow hissed and rushed backward, their arms in front of their faces, their shadowy auras weakening.

  “Now,” Maria transmitted.

  Every man and woman on the team ejected their magazines and loaded the new ones in three fluid motions. The power of proper training.

  “Light their asses up!”

  Bullets ripped from the rifles and slammed into the Drow. They jerked and hissed as the enchanted rounds tore through their bodies, their shadow magic struggling to keep up.

  James jerked his head around until he spotted the Clown of Doom half-buried in the ground. He jogged toward the figurine. It wouldn’t do any good to survive the Drow attack if the entire area all went up in a magical mushroom crowd.

  On the plus side, at least they weren’t in a city.

  He rotated his left arm a few times. It didn’t matter how many times he used a healing potion. He was always surprised at how effective they were.

  Thanks, Zoe. You saved my life yet again.

  Rifles cracked as the AET rained death on the three Drow. Bullet wounds covered their bodies, but they remained stubbornly standing. Zavan’s shadow nimbus spread out to form a translucent dome around them. He murmured something to the women, and they looked James’ way, sneering.

  The AET officers fired for about ten more seconds before realizing their bullets couldn’t pierce the shield. The two Drow women didn’t launch any attacks from the inside.

  Reyal and Kaella joined hands and glared at James.

  What the fuck are they doing? Why did they stop attacking? Maybe they can’t. Total defense, no offense? Siege time?

  Lieutenant Hall aimed a pistol at them. “This is Lieutenant Maria Hall of the LAPD AET. Drop all spells immediately and put your hands above your head.”

  Zavan ignored the lieutenant and laughed, wild-eyed, his shield still in place. “You said it before, Brownstone, but I didn’t even realize it until now. It’s why I felt some strange pushback from you. I let my own arrogance blind me to the mission.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about, Zavan?” James pointed at Lieutenant Hall. “Don’t you get it, asshole? You’ve lost. That’s why you’re pulling this shadow turtle bullshit. The minute you drop that shield, AET finishes turning you into Swiss cheese.”

  “It doesn’t matter. The legacy’s what is important. That’s all the queen cares about. The wish is the key to our future. The next few decades are critical.”

  “Well, duh. What’s your fucking point, asshole? You can’t get the wish if you’re dead. You surrender right now, and maybe you’ll weasel out with some diplomatic immunity bullshit.”

  The idea annoyed James, but he was fine with anything that would stop the immediate fight. They’d only been lucky no cops had been killed.

  Zavan coughed up blood. More oozed from several wounds all over his body. “But the princess doesn’t have the legacy anymore, and the Drow don’t need half-human trash as a Princess of the Shadow Forged polluting our people.” He locked eyes with James. “We will just yank the legacy from you and leave this wretched place.”

  The AET opened fire again, but it wasn’t a steady stream. A shot here and a shot there, as if they were probing the Drow’s defenses, probably via radio order through their helmet comms.

  Still holding each other’s hand, the two Drow women stretched out their free arms.

  “You were a fool to oppose the Drow, Brownstone,” Zavan shouted. “If you’re fortunate, this won’t shred your soul.”

  Two bolts of energy, one blue, one green, shot from Reyal and Kaella’s respective hands. They twisted around each other, their shuddering and twitching lines of energy joining together to form a larger blast, one headed straight toward James.

  “Oh, shit!”

  25

  A few seconds passed before James registered that he wasn’t dead. He should have been dead. Two Drow had conjured a spell to drain Alison’s wish from him, after all—not to mention the pr
omised shredding of his soul.

  Instead, he was standing there staring at the Drow, who looked as confused as James felt. It was then that he realized something was pulsing brightly on the ground. The glow was accompanied by a building whine.

  The Clown of Doom. Somehow the artifact had absorbed the magical release.

  Not only was it pulsing and whining, but a moment of observation confirmed the pulse rate and volume were increasing. James’ gaze jerked from the figurine to the Drow.

  “Fuck.” James jumped to the ground and grabbed the figurine. He hissed as his skin sizzled from the intense heat of the artifact. With quality World Series-form, he pitched the pulsing Clown of Doom straight at the Drow and their protective dome, clinging to some vague hope that the entire area wouldn’t go up in a magical explosion.

  Lines of energy flowed from Kaella and Reyal into the dome, strengthening it.

  Hell, at least this way I know Alison will be safe. No Drow are ever gonna come looking for her after learning these three got blown up by a magical nuke.

  The Clown of Doom collided with the shield and shattered, producing a blinding flash. The erupting shockwave slammed into James. His eyes were still adjusting and ears ringing when he crashed to the ground.

  James groaned, his stomach churning and his head throbbing. He sat up and blinked.

  “Wait, I’m not fucking dead.” He looked back and forth. Several AET officers, including Lieutenant Hall, were picking themselves up off the ground. The lieutenant took off her cracked and seared helmet and tossed it to the ground. The barrel of her pistol was melted, and the other cop’s guns hadn’t fared much better.

  James fished out his gun. Strange. The barrel and grip were warped and melted, but the holster didn’t show any signs of new burns.

  Not an explosion, then. More like some reality-warping shit?

  The bounty hunter shook his head. He didn’t want to even begin to think about something like that, especially with the ringing in his ears.