Grasping The Future Read online

  Break? He typed out.

  Yep. Getting ready for the airport?

  He brought a video call up while he tried to peel his banana. It did not go well, and he resorted to hacking the end of it open with his butter knife. When he looked up, Eliza was watching with interest.

  “You know, I think your fine motor control is getting better,” she said.

  “That’s what you took from what you saw?”

  “Yes.” She smiled in a way that told him she saw the humor but wasn’t willing to resort to insults when he was also making progress.

  “You’re a nice person,” he said. “What’s that like?”

  “It’s good.” She smiled and took out her ponytail to pull her hair back again. “Did you hear from the person with the apartment?”

  “Yeah, yesterday—they said I can come to look at it tonight or tomorrow.” He sighed. “We’re both…trying not to be too into this and scare the other person off, right? I’m not making that up?”

  Eliza burst out laughing. “No, I’d say you’re very much right. I’m sitting here thinking, ‘should I ask him if he wants to sleep on my couch? Is that too much?’”

  “Sleeping on your couch isn’t too much,” he said and chuckled. “Am I not supposed to suggest alternate sleeping arrangements?”

  Her face went bright red. “That felt very presumptive.”

  “You’re terrible at flirting,” he told her sincerely, “and it is one of the cutest things ever.”

  She buried her face in her hands. “Um. So. Tell me about the game. What did you do while you were there this time?”

  “I turned a woman into a tree,” he said. “Well, not me. I was merely there. I did hit her with a bucket, though.”

  “Is this you trying to advertise yourself as boyfriend material?”

  “Oh, good point. Okay, in my defense, she was turning people into wolves by hammering spiked rings into their skin.”

  “What the hell kind of psychopath came up with this game?” Eliza demanded.

  “It’s…a long story. Group effort. My point is, the people are freed, the woman doing it is now a lovely tree that is doing much more good as a tree than she did as a person, and—oh, I met this pair of twins who are in there because the girl is in a coma. They are good kids, but I now feel so old. Do you ever hang out with seventeen-year-olds and get exhausted simply watching them?”

  She snorted. “Not all that often. Everyone I work with is old and tired to start with. Living the hospital dream.” She gave an exaggerated thumbs-up. “But I do know what you mean. Sometimes, I go snowboarding in the winter and…oof. I do a few runs and I want to go get hot cocoa in the lodge.” She held a paper cup up. “Speaking of hot cocoa…”

  “Good call.” Ben looked at his coffee. “Okay, I’ll try to drink this so don’t laugh at me.”

  “Never,” Eliza assured him. “Okay…sometimes. But only when you start laughing first.”

  “I’ll accept that.” He picked the cup up and lifted it carefully to his mouth. Surprisingly, he managed to get a few sips in without spilling too much down his shirt and he concentrated equally as hard while he put it down again. “Not bad, not bad. It’s frustrating after being so much more competent in the game.”

  “You’ll get there,” she said. “Honestly, the fact that they could let you go to a hotel for a night on your own is incredible. By now, normally, you’d still be trying to learn how to walk.” She looked at her watch. “Damn, break is over. I’ll see you at the airport?”

  Ben’s heart gave a sideways leap. He didn’t try to hide his smile. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll look forward to seeing you there.”

  Eliza blew a kiss and waved before she shut off the video call, and he sighed happily.

  For the first time in a long time, he looked forward to going somewhere new—not because he was running from something but because he was excited about what the future held.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  When Ben walked through the door of his apartment, it was with a sigh of relief. He pulled his tie loose and kicked his shoes off at the door, then trudged up the half-flight of stairs to put the mail on the table. He could see the bills in the stack and he didn’t want to deal with that right now.

  It had already been an annoying enough day.

  He downed a glass of water at the sink and wandered into the bedroom to change. Seeing Eliza’s book on the bedside table made him sigh. They’d had a fight before she went to work yesterday.

  His mind distracted by the memory, he hung his work pants up and got into sweats. He had a whole round of physical therapy exercises to do and he was not in the mood for it. Today was one of those days when… He sat on the bed with a thump and frowned.

  Today was one of those days that would have made him want to run away as he had before the accident. An argument with a coworker, dropping the ball on an important project, a fight with his girlfriend, and bills in the mail. He could feel his fingers itching to throw all his clothes in a bag and start driving—anywhere.

  The thing was, it was a reflex. He didn’t honestly want it.

  Not that he particularly wanted to apologize, of course. He flopped onto his back with another sigh. The fight with Eliza had been one of those he hated—an escalation from tired, petty sniping at each other until neither of them could remember what it was about.

  That hadn’t stopped them from dragging every problem with each other onto the table, of course.

  He rubbed his face, something he managed to do on the first attempt. His coordination was improving when he didn’t watch his body, although he wasn’t where he had been before his injuries. It would be years, he was sure.

  And there was nothing for it but to do what he knew was right. He sat with a sigh and dialed.

  Eliza answered after a few rings. “Hi.” She sounded cautious.

  “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

  “Nope.” A clatter in the background sounded like dishes.

  “Did you already make dinner?”

  “No, I was…just starting.”

  “What if I brought something over?” Ben suggested. “Maybe some Chinese? I could bring your book.”

  He could tell she was smiling on the other end. “I’d like that. I, uh…look, I said some things yesterday that weren’t fair to you.”

  “Yeah,” he said frankly. “And I did the same. Look, let’s not do this over the phone. I’ll be there in forty-five, okay?”

  “Will you stay over?”

  “I’d like to.” He looked out the window. “I may have to. It looks like the snow is starting.”

  “A cozy night in. That sounds nice.” She cleared her throat. “We don’t have to make a thing of that fight, you know. We can simply call it even.”

  “I’d do that,” he said, “except that’s what my instinct is telling me to do, and my instinct in relationships is usually wrong.”

  She laughed. “Oh, man. You’re something else, you know that? I mean that in a good way. I’ll see you soon.”

  Ben took a few minutes to open the bills and send off some quick payments before he left, then put together a bag to take to Eliza’s. He looked at the apartment and tried to remember if he’d forgotten anything.

  Plants. He filled a mug and watered the pothos and the spider plant.

  That done, he headed out to his beater car, a used Toyota that had been sold to him by a college student moving up in the world. It smelled, despite his best efforts, like various illegal substances. He rationalized that by saying it helped him drive more carefully so he wouldn’t get stopped by the police.

  Once he’d grabbed Chinese food, he headed to Eliza’s apartment, one in a new development. She shared it with one of the nurses from the hospital.

  He was pulling up when he realized he’d forgotten the book. The snow was getting too heavy for him to go back, though, so he trudged to the door and let himself in. With a bark, the roommate’s dog bounded over.

  “Yes, hello,” Ben told him. �
�I love you, too. No, you don’t get any Chinese food.”

  “Not for dogs,” Eliza confirmed. She came to scratch the dog’s head and stood on tiptoe to kiss Ben. “Hello.”

  “Hello.” He held her close and rested his chin on the top of her head. “I forgot your book.”

  “The day either one of us gets out the door with everything we’re supposed to have will be the day hell freezes over,” she said. “So at least I know you haven’t been replaced by a pod person.”

  Ben kissed her again and walked to the table. “It’s seriously coming down out there.”

  “And I’m on call tonight.” She groaned. “So’s Kira, though, so at least I’ll have someone to go with if we get called in.”

  “What?” Kira called from the other room.

  “The snow’s getting heavy,” she told her. “Get ready for a night of crashes.”

  “Ugh. Okay, I’m going to bed now, then.” Kira poked her head in and waved to Ben before she withdrew to her bedroom.

  “So.” Eliza set out forks and plates. “How was your day?”

  “Shit,” Ben said without preamble. “I’ll need to work this weekend to redo stuff on the ERA Report, which…bleh. The printer broke, coffee maker broke—comedy of errors, honestly.” He shrugged and ladled chicken onto his plate. “And I still have to do my PT. You? How was your day?”

  “Not so bad as that.” She shrugged. “Winter’s the busy season, so on a good day, we get a steady stream of people with sprains or whatever, nothing too bad but enough to make the time pass quickly. That was today. No one yelled, which was nice.” She served herself some food and looked at him. “I’m sorry, you know. About the things I said.”

  “Me, too.” Ben put his fork down.

  “You look completely terrified.”

  “I don’t know how to do this part.”

  “Would you…like help?” She looked bemused.

  “Sure, gimme anything you got.”

  “A good apology,” Eliza said, “takes responsibility, doesn’t make excuses, and includes an explanation of how you’ll do better in the future. Like this.” She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry I said you were slipping on your PT. It’s genuinely difficult to balance health with work, I know that. You’re making tremendous progress. I…won’t do that anymore. Okay, the ending wasn’t great, but you see where I was going.”

  “Oh.” He considered what she’d said. “Takes responsibility, doesn’t make excuses… Okay. I’m sorry I said you should help more with the chores. The truth is, I never liked laundry even before my brain got all fucked up, and I can do it on my own…and I probably should, because folding is good fine motor practice. You shouldn’t do my laundry because I hate doing chores. Or…at all. Everyone hates doing chores.”

  Eliza smiled and nodded.

  “Wait, so that’s it?” Ben stared at her. “You’re telling me what I’ve avoided for all these years is that conversation? Now I feel like an idiot.”

  “Eh, no one’s good at it.” She shrugged. “Besides, all that put you in my ER, so it worked out well for me. Not that I’m saying I’m glad you were injured.” She took a mouthful of chicken and said around it, “I’ll start eating so I don’t say anything else stupid.”

  He snorted with laughter. “Me, too.”

  “This is good.”

  “Yeah, they’d just made more before I showed up.” One of the problems of living in a small resort town was that most of the restaurants were way out of any reasonable price range. There were only a few restaurants they could afford regularly, so they rotated between Chinese, empanadas, and pizza. “Ugh, I do not want to do my PT tonight.”

  “You could do my laundry,” she suggested. “No? Too soon for that joke? Okay. Well, let’s put on a movie to distract you, then.”

  “Fifth Element?”

  “You watch that movie so often.”

  “Because it’s a perfect movie,” he said around a mouthful of food.

  “You know that if I start liking it, it’ll be some weird Stockholm syndrome.” She rolled her eyes. “But sure, I’ll give it a thirty-fifth shot.”

  “I heard from the PIVOT team yesterday,” he said while they cleaned up.

  “Oh? How are things there?”

  “They want to come run some tests and see how I’m improving after being out for a while.” Ben smiled. “I pointed out that it was much easier for me to go back than for them to send several people and equipment, and they all made a ton of excuses. I’m very sure they want to come skiing.”

  “You tell them not to get injured too badly,” Eliza said absentmindedly.

  “See, most people don’t think about that when they think of skiing.”

  “They should.”

  “Yes, dear.” He grinned. Doctors, he had learned, had very strong opinions about certain hobbies that they considered too dangerous to be allowed. He had learned, for instance, never to suggest zip-lining or anything to do with trampolines.

  Later, as they watched the tail end of the movie in sleepy contentment, he hugged her close.

  “Are you okay?” She looked quizzically at him.

  “Terrified,” he said quietly.

  “What? Why?” She twisted in his arms for a better look at him.

  “This is all new.” His hand found hers. “And it feels so good—sticking things out at the job, getting to see long-term projects pay off, working in my field again, making friends here, everything with you. I’ve simply…all this is new. I never know what’s coming. It was almost easier to expect everything to blow up because then the future wasn’t a mystery. This…feels like being at the top of the roller coaster all the time.” He thought for a moment. “Most of the time. Right now, it feels like that and it also feels cozy. That’s weird.”

  “Mm-hmm.” She smiled. “I feel the same. Sometimes, I think about how weird it is—how we met, knowing I wanted to know more about you even though I didn’t know you well at all. But you can tell a lot about a person from how they are when they’re sick.”

  “So your type is ‘giant pain in the ass?’”

  She kissed him. “I prefer ‘insanely stubborn.’”

  Ben smiled and held her close. “And I like sushi-addicted painters.”

  “Bad painters,” Eliza corrected him. “Don’t forget how abysmally bad I am at painting.”

  “I prefer ‘surrealist,’” he said, with a grin. “Sleep?”

  “Sleep.” She stood and hauled him up, her tiny frame surprisingly strong. “Another day tomorrow.”

  “That’s the beauty of it,” he said.

  To his surprise, he meant every word

  Decision Made

  The story concludes with Decision Made, book Ten in the P.I.V.O.T. Lab Chronicles.

  Coming soon to Amazon and to Kindle Unlimited

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