Hail To The King Read online

  “Yeah, the weird thing is, although we’ve got some video from security cameras and that sort of thing, there’s a lot of other videos that have been sent to the station that don’t seem to be from security cameras.” Mack looked to the side for a moment as if he were trying to picture the videos in his mind. “Some from rooftops, so not just random people seeing something weird.”

  “’If you see something, say something’ and all that.”

  “Yeah, probably.” Mack waved a hand and nodded toward the couch. “May I sit? I didn’t come to talk about parkour women. I came to talk about something much more important.”

  “What’s that?” James nodded toward the couch.

  The sergeant sat down. “Barbeque and our team. We need to start talking about equipment, specifically our main pit.”

  James decided to return to his lounge chair now that he’d abandoned the sandwich plan. The chair didn’t fit him like his old favorite did, but there wasn’t a lot he could do about that.

  Thanks, rocket-launcher asshole.

  “What did you have in mind, Mack?” The bounty hunter shifted his body for a few seconds to get comfortable.

  “Something huge.” Mack pointed to the ceiling for a second before dropping his hand. “We need to show these fools that PFW is here to represent barbeque.”

  James nodded. “Yeah, and how do we do this?”

  “Like I said, something huge. Something that shows we aren’t afraid of anything.” He pointed to himself and then James.

  The bounty hunter gave him a quick nod. “I can get behind huge barbeque.”

  Mack grinned. “You know what? We should do a big-rig-sized pit.”

  “A big-rig-sized pit?”

  The cop spread his hands in front of him. “Imagine this, Brownstone. Imagine if we built something so large we would have to use a Kenworth to pull it.”

  “Yeah,” James rumbled, his eyes lighting up at the idea. “That would be fucking badass. We could make the entire county smell our barbeque.”

  James and Mack both laughed.

  The bounty hunter sighed and shook his head. While the rest of his life might have ripped past any possibility of being constrained by his old KISS philosophy, there was no reason barbeque couldn’t.

  “But we need to be practical.” James grunted and shrugged. “We need something my truck can handle. Not like we can always have a big rig around for competitions.”

  Mack sighed and nodded. “Guess you’re right.” He let his head drop against the back of the couch.

  “I’ll figure something out, but I need you to work on finding a good place to store our wood.” James’ gaze flicked toward his secured basement door. Good place for death-dealing tools, not so much for barbeque wood. “A place where we can keep it seasoned right and maintain good humidity. Not like we can make up for that shit once we’ve started cooking.”

  Mack waved a hand. “Don’t worry. I think I already know a place.” He grinned. “Hell, I can toss out my mother-in-law and use the room she’s living in. I won’t miss her.”

  The men shared another laugh.

  “What would your wife say if she heard that?” James wondered.

  “Something pretty loud and foul.” Mack leaned forward to whisper, “Guess it’s a good thing she’s not here. Like I said before, men like us need strong women.”

  “Don’t I know it! Hey, I got a question. You understand women? You understand your wife?”

  Mack sat back up and shook his head. “I’ve been married a hell of a long time, and I don’t think I’ll ever understand any woman, let alone my woman. Not totally.” He reached into his pocket to pull out a piece of paper. “But I do understand barbeque, and I wanted to talk about which boys we might want doing what.”

  James glanced out at the front, thinking about Shay.

  I’ve been trying so hard to understand her, but maybe I never will. Guess I’ll just have to ride this shit out and see what happens. It feels good in the meantime.

  “Let’s do it.”

  3

  James allowed himself to smile as he appreciated the sheen of his polished kitchen counter. Shay might call it OCD, but he insisted it was nothing more than keeping his life simple. Food poisoning didn’t make for a simple day.

  He frowned, thinking over that explanation. He hadn’t had food poisoning that he could remember, which meant every day after his earliest childhood years. Maybe the amulet, even when off, or his alien physiology somehow protected him.

  His phone rang, and he pulled it out of his pocket.

  “Hey, Shay,” James answered.

  “So I’m going to be heading off on a job for the Professor soon, but I wanted you to come over to Warehouse Three for a few tests before that.”

  “Tests?” James grimaced. He thought he knew what she was talking about, but maybe he was wrong.

  Shay laughed. “Yeah, concerning your little whispering pal.”

  James grunted. “I don’t think that’ll be very helpful.” He set the phone down and put it on speaker mode. Might as well get in some more polishing while they were chatting.

  “Bullshit, it won’t. Knowing the exact limits of your defenses means you can kick ass in a more tactically-sound way.”

  “I don’t put that much thought into it.” He grabbed his rag and spray bottle to head to the other end of the counter. “I kick ass and ask questions later.”

  James could almost hear the eye roll over the phone. “Sure, James. Sure. Just get your ass over here. Let me put it another way. I don’t want to have to worry about your ass when I’m out on a job. I don’t know if I can pull off getting my ass teleported back from overseas next time you’re in trouble.”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll come over soon. I’ve just got some shit to take care of.” He squirted the bottle a few times and set it to the side.

  Shay snickered. “Let me guess, you’re polishing your already-ridiculously-clean counter, and you’re going to dust a bunch of shit like a sixty-year-old Victorian maid.”

  “I’ve got some cleaning to do, yeah.” James grunted and rubbed the rag on the counter.

  “Just hurry it along there, Mr. Maid. See you soon.” Shay hung up.

  James frowned at the phone, then put his rag down, retrieved a pair of earbuds, placed them in, and started up a new podcast. It was Grilling Satori, which was focused on yakiniku. His first love would always be American barbeque, but his jaunt to Japan had opened his eyes to other grilled meat possibilities.

  James reached for his rag as his phone rang again.

  “Hold your damned horses, Shay.”

  When he pulled the phone out of his pocket, he chuckled. It was Alison, the other bossy woman in his life.

  “Hey, kid, what’s up?” James adjusted the phone so he could hear better.

  “Hey, Dad. Just excited to be coming home soon.”

  James eyed the rag and decided to devote his full attention to talking to his daughter. “Regret taking on the special project?”

  “No, no. Just it’s been too long.” Alison let out a wistful sigh. “Two weeks, and then we can spend most of the summer together.”

  James smiled. “Yeah, sounds good. I’ve been looking into concerts and sh…stuff we can go to together.”

  Alison let out a contented sigh. “Plus, if I’m there maybe I can keep you out of trouble.”

  “Out of trouble?” James stepped out of the kitchen so the rag wouldn’t tempt him.

  “I’m still upset about what happened with those Drow.”

  “It’s fine, Alison. They’re dead now, and with the AET and the consulate looking into things I doubt the Drow will try anything anytime soon.”

  James grunted and glanced at his door. Never knew when some magical asshole might kick it open.

  “It’s not just the Drow, though.” She muttered something under her breath about kicking dark elf butt.

  “What?” James dropped back into his lounge chair. “The Drow were the big deal.”


  “That stuff in Las Vegas, too. That was important.”

  “What about it? That wasn’t anything special, just a level four.” His hands itched to do something. He hadn’t realized he was so obsessed with multi-tasking.

  “But I also know you didn’t have your amulet.”

  James grunted. Shay must have passed that little piece of information about his confrontation with the Red-Eyes Killer along. Even though he’d brought up the existence of the amulet with the girl previously, he still wasn’t sure if he felt comfortable with her knowing about it. It was just more crap the poor teenager had to worry about.

  Still, it wasn’t like he’d be able to keep many secrets from her. If she started asking too many questions when they were in the same room together during the summer, it’d only be a matter of time before she pushed and found out about his alien origin.

  What the fuck am I so afraid of? Alison’s half-Drow. It’s not like she’s gonna be that freaked that her new dad isn’t human.

  “I didn’t need my amulet for a level four, and I had a healing potion with me,” James rumbled.

  “A healing potion isn’t going to do anything if you’re dead,” Alison snapped. “I read about that Red-Eyes Killer online. He was cutting people’s heads off.”

  Yeah, and then I cut his head off.

  James smirked and extended his footrest. Might as well get comfortable. “I took him out okay.”

  “And you got lucky with the Drow because you knew they were coming. If they had ambushed you at home or something without your amulet you’d be dead.”

  James grunted. “Like I said, they weren’t a problem.”

  “I want you to make me a promise, Dad. A promise that will make me feel a lot better about all this.”

  “Sure, kid, anything.”

  “Wear the amulet all the time from now on.”

  James’ heart rate kicked up. He’d been expecting her to ask him to be more careful.

  “What the… Alison, I don’t think that’s a good idea. That thing has weird side-effects.”

  “Big deal,” Alison shot back, heaving another long sigh. “All magic does. So, what, you want me to wear the Aegis Pendant all the time to protect myself, but you’re not going to wear the amulet?”

  Stubborn Drow teenagers were worse than Drow assassins.

  “It’s not the same thing.” James groaned and rubbed his temple with his free hand.

  Alison sniffled. “You don’t get it, do you?”

  Oh, shit. Is she crying? Fuck. Damn it.

  “I… Alison, I’m careful.”

  “I bet my mom was careful, too, and she still ended up dead.”

  James sighed and let his head fall back against the chair. Alison had suffered so much, and shouldn’t have to spend her time stressing over him.

  I’m a shitty dad.

  It didn’t help that Alison was right. She was in the middle of a government-sponsored magic school, surrounded by powerful creatures, witches, and wizards who could protect her. The fact that the Drow had targeted him instead of her proved that the School of Necessary Magic was a safe place, but he still felt better about her wandering around if she wore her Aegis Pendant.

  Unlike Alison, James also made a point of going after dangerous people, and Vegas had proved that he wasn’t always ready for trouble. If the Red-Eyes Killer had been tougher he would have had to drive all the way back to Los Angeles to get his stuff, and more people might have died.

  Alison’s sniffles broke into full sobs on the other end. James’ stomach tightened, and his free hand went to his forehead.

  “Okay,” he muttered into the phone.

  “Okay?” Alison echoed after another sob.

  James lowered the phone and stared at it for a few seconds before lifting back to his ear. “I’ll do it. I’ll start wearing the amulet all the time. Maybe not to bed, but I’ll have it always near me at least.”

  The teen regained control after a few more sniffles. “Thanks, Dad. That’s all I ask.”

  Guess I’m gonna get used to hearing weird-ass alien whispers. Hope the amulet likes barbeque.

  “I forgot to tell you, the adoption will be finalized in July.” He managed a smile despite the discomfort just moments earlier.

  “Then I’ll officially be Alison Brownstone.” Happiness infected her voice.

  “Yeah, sucks to be you.”

  Alison let out a little laugh, which relieved James.

  “Everything’s only been getting better,” the girl responded. “And I’m sure it’s only going to get even better from here on.”

  “I’m sure it will, Alison. I’m sure it will. Hey, why don’t you tell me the cool stuff that’s been going on at your school?”

  Alison sucked in a deep breath as if she were about to unleash paragraphs in seconds. “Well, first of all, Izzie did the funniest thing the other day…”

  An hour later, James’ F-350 roared down the highway toward Warehouse Three. He’d stopped by his own more modest “warehouse” to pick up the amulet.

  A storage unit’s been good enough for years. It’s not like I should change just because Shay has a bunch of actual warehouses.

  I also can’t believe I’m gonna go to Shay’s place and let her shoot me.

  The amulet whispered in his mind, amused by the idea.

  Glad one of us is gonna enjoy it. Is this your idea of entertainment?

  It didn’t respond. James still wasn’t sure if the communication was one-way, but because of Alison’s new requirement, he’d find out soon enough. He wasn’t sure if he’d wear it constantly or just have it with him, but it was at least a good experiment to try.

  Finding out that the amulet was of alien origin rather than magical had done a lot to soothe his concerns. He figured the devil would rely on something a little less elaborate if he were trying to take James’ soul. At least he hoped so.

  Maybe if I wear this shit all the time, it’ll eventually get tired of talking. For now, I’ll do what I need to, because if I get killed, Alison might not be safe even at the school. I have to remember that I’m not just living for myself anymore. I’m living for two wonderful women.

  James frowned. He needed to protect his women any way he could.

  “Fuck. That parkour shit has to be Shay, and if I tell her to knock it off, she’ll just call me a name and do it twice as often to make a point. Maybe I can handle it in a different way.”

  He waited until he was sure no one would pass him soon to hit “Heather” in his contacts list and turned on the speakerphone.

  The phone rang once. “Verify identity,” a distorted voice demanded.

  “James Brownstone.” He checked his mirrors to make sure there were no suspicious vehicles.

  “Confirm the first job.”

  James returned his attention to the front. “You know the fucking first job.”

  “Confirm the first job,” the voice repeated.

  “I needed you to take care of some video of some women hanging on me in a bar.”

  The distorted voice laughed. “Give me a real challenge this time, Mr. Brownstone,” Heather continued, her voice undistorted this time.

  The bounty hunter grunted. “I don’t know if it’s a real challenge, but it’s important to me.”

  “What’s up, Mr. Brownstone?”

  “A woman is parkouring around Los Angeles at night. She sometimes goes places she shouldn’t.”

  “Oh, she’ll be easy to track.”

  “I don’t want her tracked.” James paused for a moment as he changed lanes. “I’m more concerned about video of her. Most of it is security-cam shit, but there’s some other video that seems a little more directed. I want you to find out who is filming it, and then we can talk about if I need it taken down.”

  Heather chuckled. “Sure thing. This will be even easier than what you had me do before.”

  “Fine by me. Wait, don’t you need the description of the woman?” James glanced around the cab, wondering if the hack
er could somehow see him.

  “Nope. What you’ve told me should be enough. By the way, I’m now burning this number.”

  “Huh? What the fuck are you talking about?” James slowed to let someone from the onramp in.

  “You won’t be able to get hold of me using this number.”

  “Then how the fuck am I supposed to talk to you about the job?” James shook his head.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll call you.” Heather hung up.

  “Fucking hackers.”

  Guns arranged roughly by caliber and type lined several tables stretching across the interior of the main room of Warehouse Three. Shay stood behind the first table with a satisfied look on her face. The amulet continued its happy murmuring.

  Shay eyed James. “Please tell me you’ve got it on. It’d be pretty damned embarrassing if I ended up killing you.”

  “Embarrassing? Yeah, I guess that’s one way to put it.” James patted his chest. “It’s under here, and it’s ready to go.”

  “Good. The more we know, the longer you live.” The tomb raider picked up a small .22 pistol from the first table. “Look, I figure we escalate this shit slowly and systematically. We know you can handle a lot of weapons, so as long as we up the power slowly we won’t seriously injure you.”

  James snorted. “You think you won’t.”

  Shay winked. “I don’t think, I know. Don’t be a pussy.”

  “You’re not the one getting shot.”

  She narrowed her eyes and aimed the gun at his leg. “I’ll keep it away from anything important, or anything I need to use later tonight.”

  The amulet whispered, eagerness in its mental voice.

  James shrugged. “Whatever. Guess I should have worn shorts. Don’t care that much about these pants, at least.”

  Shay pulled the trigger. The bullet bounced off with a faint sting and dropped to the ground.

  “That all you got?” James rumbled, and squared his shoulders.

  The tomb raider laughed. “Oh, so we go from all your complaints to you talking shit?” She set the .22 down and picked up a .357. “I guess I better up my game, Mr. Brownstone.”