Road Trip: BBQ And A Brawl (The Unbelievable Mr. Brownstone Book 19) Read online

Is this just me needing to get some shit out of my system?

  The conversation blurred into the background as Shay explained their name choices and the desire to be surprised by the baby’s gender.

  Maria wasn’t the only one who needed to figure a few things out.

  Chapter Three

  James stepped out of the kitchen into the front of his small barbeque restaurant, the Pig and Cow. The dining room was modest, filled with eight simple white wooden tables with chairs. There was no tv on the wall, which was instead covered with pictures and plaques from competitions. A modest assortment of trophies resting on shelves completed the decorations.

  It might take James a while to catch up with Jesse Rae’s, but he was on his way. He’d come damned close to beating them during their last head-to-head showdown.

  Maybe I’ll never reach the level of Jesse Rae’s, but targeting the best of the best means I’ll get better. No point in beating some pitmaster with weak-ass barbeque and sauce that tastes like salty water.

  A weary-looking man in a rumpled suit stood near the front counter, his hand held out to accept a large plastic bag filled with several smaller bags of ribs, their scent drifting from the counter.

  Most of James’ customers were like the man: they ordered ahead for pickup. Enjoying good barbeque was about the taste, not irrelevant ambiance like the upscale seafood place. Having a smaller building also made it easier to control crowds.

  That issue hadn’t been as pronounced in recent years, with most people understanding a customer came to the Pig and Cow for good food, not for James Brownstone. On occasion, though, a news story would remind non-regulars about who was running the restaurant and cause a surge of inconveniently annoying interest.

  Renee, the employee handling the transaction with the weary customer, gave James a polite nod before returning her attention to the other man. “Thank you for your business, sir. Please come again.”

  The tables were filled with regulars, including Luis and his friends. The man was there almost every night, and had been since the place opened. The regulars all nodded at James before returning to their conversations, beer, and food.

  The suited man lowered the bag, his eyes widening when he saw James. “I’ve ordered pickup like a half-dozen times, and I’ve never actually seen you. I wasn’t even sure if you worked here anymore.”

  You could have just asked.

  James grunted. “I’m not always here, and when I am, I mostly stay in the kitchen. I own a barbeque restaurant to cook barbeque, and it’s hard to do that if I’m up front chatting with customers.” He shrugged.

  The man nodded. “Of course, of course. Could I get your autograph? Maybe a picture? I’ll pay whatever you want. Please. I’ve read all about you.”

  “I’m not gonna make you pay for a picture. That’s stupid.” James snorted and reached under the counter to pull out a menu. He held out his hand to Renee.

  She smiled, pulled a pen out of her apron pocket, and gave it to him.

  James scribbled his autograph on the menu along with the note, Barbeque is life before handing it to the suited man. “I better not find that shit on some auction site.” He narrowed his eyes. “Understood?”

  The suited man shook his head and reached into his pocket for his phone. “No, no. Never.” He lifted his phone with a smile on his face. “Say cheese.”

  James stared at the man, not smiling but not frowning either. It was his standard expression for fans.

  The customer put his phone back in his pocket and took a few deep breaths, staring down at the menu before picking up his bag. “Thank you, Mr. Brownstone.” He practically skipped out of the restaurant, his bag swinging.

  “That was almost as annoying as the guy who lives in Alison’s condo,” James muttered.

  Luis laughed from his table. “There are worse things in the world than being famous. Most people want others to recognize them for something. People recognize you for a lot of things, but you complain. Don’t you want people to enjoy the restaurant and your food?”

  The front door opened and Mack stepped in, whistling.

  “Yeah, I want people to enjoy this place,” James continued, “but because they like my food, not because of a bounty I took down or a story they read about me on the internet or Chile or whatever bullshit they’re talking about on any given day.”

  Mack grinned. “You complaining about people liking you again, James? You want everyone to hate you?” The retired cop-turned-pitmaster ran a hand over his coarse gray hair. The years hadn’t put too many wrinkles in his dark skin, but they had been far less kind to the covering up top. Mack never complained.

  He never talks about how I look like I’ve stopped aging. I wasn’t as old as Mack to begin with, but I’m in my forties now. Of course, I’ve always been an ugly sonofabitch, so maybe that’s helping people not realize what’s going on.

  James shrugged. “I don’t think I’ll ever get comfortable with this celebrity shit. My brain isn’t built for it. Shay says the same kind of thing whenever I complain, or tells me I can go hide in the mountains if I think it’s too much.”

  Several people in the dining room chuckled. They’d all heard the complaints numerous times. They’d also all gotten their pictures and autographs a long time ago. Even if they’d come for the man, they had stayed for the food, and that was fine with James.

  Luis gestured to James and shook his head. “Get a load of James here, living in LA and being all shy and not wanting attention. Talk to half the waiters and waitresses in town, and they’re all like, ‘Oh, I’m just doing this as a side gig until my big role comes through or King Oriceran decides he needs a bunch of human actors. If I was you, I’d be like, ‘I’m James Brownstone. You want a picture with me, you better give me a gold bar and your first-born child. Because that’s how good I am, man.’”

  His tablemates snickered.

  James frowned, his gaze flicking to Mack. The coming explanation wouldn’t do much to weaken his celebrity image.

  Shit. Every time I think things will go away, they don’t. I thought the adoption hearing made things get too big, and then the Council brought more attention, but at least with the Battle of LA, most people didn’t understand what was going on or that I was involved.

  James grimaced. He really would have to flee to the mountains if the general public ever found out he had fought off an alien invasion, including a second wave meant to end all life on Earth. The attention would be endless.

  “Uh, Mack?” James began. “I should tell you now I’m taking a few days off, maybe a week. Not until next week, but that’s not a huge amount of notice. Sorry.”

  Mack stepped behind the counter, his relaxed smile remaining. “Going on vacation? I can’t say that I’m surprised. I kind of wondered after some of the other recent stuff.”

  “Yeah, just a little road trip,” James explained. “Nadina invited me to the opening of her new place in Denver. I keep turning her down, but I’ll take her up on it this time.”

  An excited murmur swept the room, and several people looked his way with eager expressions.

  “Nadina?” Luis’ growing smile almost ate his face. “There’s just something about a woman that hot. And she’s got magic, too. Damn. Complete package.”

  Renee rolled her eyes and disappeared into the back.

  James shrugged. “Who cares what she looks like or that she can do magic? What do those have to do with barbeque? She doesn’t use spells on anything she cooks, and she can’t be at all her restaurants at once anyway even if she did.”

  Luis groaned and shook his head. He eyed James with a mixture of pity and disgust. “That’s the problem with you married dudes. You don’t see any woman other than yours. I’m telling you, she’s hot. Not like, just hot because she’s an elf, but hot-hot, you know? That’s all I’m saying. This isn’t rocket science, James.”

  His tablemates bobbed their heads quickly, their faces communicating their sincerity and disappointment in James’ react
ion.

  Mack chuckled quietly. “I’m sure being attractive didn’t hurt her career, but I’ve tasted her barbeque. It’s the real thing. Do I always personally enjoy all of her flavor combinations? Nope, but that’s the thing about this kind of food: everyone has their preferences, and anyone who can bring some freshness without going too far is fine by me.” He grabbed a dark-blue apron from under the counter and slipped it over his head.

  “Her barbeque could be the worst thing in the world as long as she keeps looking like that, and she’s an elf, so it’ll be a long time before she stops looking hot.” Luis smirked at James and speared a piece of his brisket with a fork. “You’re lucky you’re so damned good at grilling, James. With a face like yours, you have to have skill, even if you are famous. Fame doesn’t keep people coming back for food. No offense.”

  “None taken,” James rumbled. “I stopped caring about how I looked a long time ago, but I’ll never stop caring about how good my barbeque tastes.”

  A few people finished their meals. They stood and filed out, smiling at James and Mack as they left.

  Mack nodded to the departing customers. “Why the sudden vacation? Is it a true vacation, or is it another thing like that Canada trip?” He held up a hand. “If you can’t tell me, that’s fine. I know the government pokes you every once in a while to beg for help.”

  James grunted. “Nothing like that,” he rumbled. “Canada’s done and over, and it’s nothing more than I said—a road trip to check out Nadina’s new place.”

  Everyone left in the room was familiar enough with James’ disdain for non-automobile transportation to not bother questioning why he was driving to Colorado instead of flying, or even, given his resources, using a portal.

  Luis’ smile finally disappeared for the first time in the conversation. “Canada, huh? I wasn’t going to ask because I know that kind of shit pisses you off, but the news was saying there was some like crazy stuff up there. That you and your daughter and her friends all upped and saved Vancouver from some serious-ass monsters.”

  James shook his head. “It wasn’t about saving Vancouver. It was about taking down a bunch of assholes who couldn’t take a hint. Those same assholes thought they had a doomsday artifact we couldn’t counter, but they were wrong. It was personal.”

  Luis’ smile returned, and he cackled. “The latest recipients of the Harriken Award for Long-term Stupidity.” He picked up a rib. “Some people don’t learn until it’s too late.”

  “Exactly.” James allowed himself a tight smile. He might not be as merciful as Alison, but he didn’t go out of his way to destroy organizations if they left him well enough alone, particularly in the last few years of his semi-retirement. He took a deep breath. “This is all because of Shay. She suggested I take the road trip. She thinks it’ll give me time to think about some stuff that’s come up.”

  Mack gave him a look of a concern, his gaze flicking to Luis and some of the other customers before coming back to James. “Is everything all right?” he asked, his voice low.

  “It’s fine.” James stared at the wall. “I just found out Shay’s pregnant. I’m going to be a dad.”

  Luis hopped up from the table, pumping his fist in the air and cheering. The other customers joined him or clapped. Mack smiled.

  A warmth passed through James.

  “Congrats, James,” Luis shouted. “I didn’t even know you were trying, or have been trying and it fina…” He shut up with a glare from Mack. “Sorry, sorry. Yeah, privacy and all that. Wow. Congrats. Another Brownstone in LA. All the schools are going to get cleaned up now. Brownstone Effect all around.”

  James shook his hand and chuckled. “Maybe, but a kid’s still a kid.”

  “Your daughter was doing bounties when she was a teenager.” Luis lifted his hands and his face twisted into an incredulous expression. “You might have mostly hung up the cape, Superman, but she’s all the news all the time, which means your new kid is going to end up on the news all the time. I’m telling you, in ten years, it’ll be like, ‘Every gang in LA surrenders because Little Brownstone has declared war on crime after they stole his bike.’” He rubbed his hands together. “Oh, man, if it’s a boy, will you call it Luis? Man, I would be so honored. Come on, man. Please?”

  “No,” James declared flatly. “We’ve got names already.”

  Luis slapped his thigh. “Damn. It was worth a try. You can’t blame me.”

  Mack stood behind the sales terminal and tapped in a few commands. “So you hear about your kid, and you decide to go on a road trip?”

  Shit. I didn’t think about what this sounds like.

  James cleared his throat. “I was thinking about making a road trip in the summer, but Shay doesn’t want me gone around her due date, and she really thinks it’s a good idea.”

  “Wise.” Mack nodded. “You never know how these things will turn out. Babies come when they want to come, and once that kid is born, you need to be there to help your woman out.” He extended his hand. “Congratulations, James. I’m sure you’ll be as great a father as you are a bounty hunter and pitmaster.”

  James shook his hand. “All I can do is my best.”

  Luis raised a glass of Coke. “To Little Brownstone.”

  Everyone raised a glass. “To Little Brownstone!”

  Chapter Four

  James inhaled deeply, the delicious scents of cayenne and vinegar wafting up from the ribs on the grill and filling his nostrils.

  Bliss. Perfection. Man couldn’t have heaven on Earth, but he could get damned close with enough spices and good grilling technique.

  It didn’t matter how many times James smelled it; the scent never lost its power. Some might call it an obsession, but he didn’t mind. It’d been years since he’d switched his focus from ass-kicking to barbeque, and he’d never regretted the decision. Ass-kicking had become the distraction. Perhaps it always had been.

  How would my life had been different if I’d gone into barbeque from the beginning?

  James would never claim running a barbeque restaurant matched the importance of dealing with threats like the Council or the Vax, but he had put in his time, and he still occasionally took down a bad guy or two. His focus on family, friends, and his community filled him with a satisfaction he’d never thought possible when he was living alone with Leeroy. Before Alison. Before Shay.

  The years have flown by. Remembering everything so well is kind of annoying at times. I wonder if I could have let go better if I didn’t have this kind of memory?

  A few years back, James finally had the thought to ask Whispy if his memory was something all Vax possessed. To his surprise, he learned that not only did all Vax not have such perfect memories, but that it had not been Whispy’s intent to give James that sort of ability. It had been a side-effect of some of the other modifications the symbiont had performed shortly after his arrival on Earth.

  Where do I end and Whispy begins? I don’t even wear him all that often anymore, but he’s modified me so much. I’m not even the same species I was born as. I’m an alien who can have a kid with a human.

  James snorted and shook his head. It didn’t help to get lost in possibilities. The symbiont did what James required when he needed it, and didn’t seem to mind sitting around on standby most of the year, even if he sometimes seemed frustrated or almost sad that no other Vax had shown up in the last eight years. Whispy didn’t really seem to perceive the passage of time.

  Fortunately, the Vax, unlike the Harriken, had gotten the message in one battle. They were off ravaging half the galaxy for all James knew, but they hadn’t dared showed up again on Earth or Oriceran, and that was fine with him. He wasn’t a superhero; it wasn’t his duty to protect the galaxy. He would stick to running his restaurant and taking care of his family, including the child coming in the summer.

  Life’s complicated in its own way, but it’s not as complicated as it could be. No aliens other than me to worry about. The Alliance hasn’t so much as sniffe
d my way since LA, and from what Johnston keeps saying, they never will.

  A harsh shout from the dining room ripped James from his introspection. With a frown, he looked toward the kitchen door. Some of the regulars like Luis could get a little loud, but they never yelled, and for that matter, Luis and his buddies had left an hour ago. Maybe someone just really liked their brisket.

  The door squeaked open and Renee poked her head through, her brown eyes filled with concern. “James, I think you better get out here. Mack still isn’t back from his errand, and there’s…trouble I need your help with.”

  James narrowed his eyes. “Trouble? What sort of trouble?”

  Renee sighed. “It’d be easier if you just came out and saw.”

  “Absolute shit!” a deep male voice shouted from the dining room. “I don’t know how people can’t say this isn’t absolute shit. I dare you to tell me it’s not, you stupid brainwashed assholes.”

  What the hell?

  James checked the temperature gauge one last time before lowering the grill’s lid and marching toward the door. This didn’t sound like a minor customer service complaint.

  There were times that being the Granite Ghost in addition to being a pitmaster was helpful. Every once in a while, some idiot drank a few too many beers, but even drunk idiots didn’t have the balls to stand up to James Brownstone. Not calling the cops was a point of pride for the Pig and Cow. The police had better things to do than handle drunken fools at a restaurant, and there was pretty much nothing on Earth James couldn’t handle.

  The heavy weight of his amulet rested against his chest, the metal spacer keeping his chest from touching it. He doubted he’d need that level of help, but it was good to have Whispy there in case the angry customer turned out to be some strange Oriceran assassin.

  James emerged from the door to find a broad-shouldered man in jeans and a greasy t-shirt reading Kiss My Ass seated at a table, a tray of ribs in front of him and a scowl all but carved into his face.