Road Trip: BBQ And A Brawl (The Unbelievable Mr. Brownstone Book 19) Read online

  The man’s head jerked violently back and forth as patches of bubbling skin solidified into hard, reflective patches of black, like he was coating himself with obsidian. “Ultimate has changed everything. You know what? Fuck you. I’m not the man I once was.”

  Destroy the enemy who lacks facial symmetry first, Whispy suggested.

  Why? You think he’s tougher?

  His statements grow wearying.

  James snickered at Whispy before nodding at the wizard. “Yeah, I see it changed you. You’re one ugly motherfucker.”

  “You’re one to talk, Brownstone.” The mutating wizard looked at his partner. “You planning on surrendering?”

  The normal wizard lifted his wand and shook his head. “We can win. We’ve got Ultimate on our side, and you’ve got to be more powerful with all the shit I’m seeing.”

  The mutating wizard turned back to James. His eyes had turned solid black. His skin stopped changing, but a dull blue light illuminated his surface blood vessels. “Power, Brownstone. You didn’t really think you would win forever? Isn’t that why you ran off to your restaurant?”

  James snorted. “You really have no fucking clue, do you?”

  His statements grow extremely wearying, Whispy complained. Eliminate target.

  I need to keep him alive, James sent.

  Then cripple target.

  James grunted and retracted his blades. It was too easy to accidentally kill someone when he was swinging the weapons, let alone if he decided to use an energy attack. It was time for a good old-fashioned beatdown. Breaking a few things would still leave the men on the “alive” end of the dead-or-alive spectrum.

  The mutant wizard pointed his wand and screamed an incantation. Three different glyphs appeared in front of him and lines of red energy flowed among them, humming with power.

  The normal wizard opted for a more straightforward fireball. His spell exploded around James, barely singeing his armor. Charred grass and dirt shot up around him.

  Maximum adaptation already achieved, Whispy complained.

  “Nice try, but you’re gonna have to do better than that,” James growled. He leapt toward the normal wizard and brought his armored fist down, but his blow bounced off an invisible shield.

  James expected the defense, but that didn’t make it less annoying.

  The fireball wizard grinned. “You can’t hit what you can’t touch. Yeah, we’ll win. Maybe you should be the one running, Brownstone.”

  James uncurled his fingers and swiped at the man’s chest with his claws. His first blow bounced off, but the second passed deeper, slowed but not stopped, ripping into the man’s shirt and drawing blood.

  With a yelp, the wizard backpedaled before firing off another quick fireball, and then another.

  James marched forward, ignoring the other man, who was channeling energy into his attack. He was in no hurry, and no one was running anymore. He made another fist and slammed it into the chest of the now-shieldless wizard.

  There was an audible crunch, and the man screamed. He flew a dozen yards and landed on his back in a nearby sand trap, coughing up blood. His wand lay several feet away.

  “You broke my fucking ribs!” the wizard screamed.

  “You’re still alive,” James growled, “so stop bitching.” He turned to his partner. The bright glyphs were nearly blinding, but James didn’t activate a visual filter. “Give it up, asshole. Some weak-ass drug doesn’t mean you can win against me. You’d need to take all the Ultimate in the world to have a chance against me.”

  “I’ll make sure everyone knows those were your last words,” the mutant wizard snarled. Three rays of energy burst from the glyphs and converged on a single point to grow a pulsating translucent sphere of scarlet energy. James didn’t bother to dodge as the wizard released the attack.

  The massive explosion blinded James and sent him careening through the air. He crashed into a nearby putting green, leaving a huge indentation. Flaming debris rocks and dirt showered down around him as he hopped to his feet.

  I feel sorry for the groundskeeper, James thought.

  Minimum damage sustained, Whispy reported. Maximum adaptation already achieved. Eliminate target. End this inefficient battle.

  James grunted. He wasn’t in pain, and his armor was already repairing what little surface damage he had sustained. Facing a level five taking Ultimate might present a challenge, but these two wizards were just punks standing between him and more barbeque.

  “I’m still here, asshole,” James called.

  The wizard’s face twitched. “That’s not my only trick.” He growled and pointed his wand again.

  A chain appeared and shot toward James. He swiped with his claws, separating it into two halves.

  James scoffed, the filter of the helmet giving it a hollow sound. “Please. That’s your big plan?”

  With wide eyes, the wizard stumbled backward, his wand still up. An earthen wall shot from the ground and James leapt over it with ease, landing on the opposite side of the now-fleeing mutant wizard.

  The man stumbled to a halt, his lip quivering.

  “What’s the matter?” James rumbled. “You talked all that shit and now you’re running away? Why don’t you show me what a badass you are, Mr. Ultimate? I don’t know if all that shit on your body is permanent, but if it is, it’s a high price to pay when you’re still gonna get your ass kicked.”

  Two quick blows from James sent the wizard into his earthen wall. The wizard’s magic protected him, but he stumbled and dropped his wand.

  End this inefficient battle, Whispy demanded

  Yeah, fair enough. Just wanted to talk a little trash first.

  Trash-talking is inefficient use of resources.

  James extended a blade and thrust forward, cutting through the shield and pinning the bounty against the wall. The mutated man howled in pain before James knocked him out with a punch. He pulled his blade out and the man fell to the ground.

  “I hope you didn’t spend too much on your drugs,” James muttered. He frowned and looked toward where he’d been standing when he was attacked. Smoke rose from a massive crater that could have easily swallowed his truck. “Huh. That is halfway impressive when I look at it from here. Too bad you were up against me.”

  James peered through the smoky battleground. Trey and the team could handle the other two men.

  Chapter Seven

  As soon as James had jumped away, Trey, Victoria, and Ramon charged across the course after their targets. Trey already had his magic gloves and tie on, and Victoria and Ramon had been ready since their arrival at the golf course.

  Police helicopters circled overhead, along with drones. The police were prepared for the Brownstone Agency’s team to take the first crack at the criminals, but they weren’t prepared to let anyone get away. Trey wasn’t worried. There was no way they would lose, and even if by some miracle they did, the wizards would be so busted up, the backup team would be able to take them down.

  Trey laughed as they closed on two figures rushing toward them.

  Victoria glanced at him. “What’s so funny?”

  “I asked the big man to help so other people could see him in action, but now we’re off fighting separately.” Trey shrugged. “Not the end of the world, but still kind of funny.”

  Ramon chuckled. “Yeah, that’s true, but at least we have him as backup if we need him. I’m sure he won’t have any trouble with the two he’s facing off against. We better not end up looking like fools.”

  Trey shook his head. “Nah. We got this.”

  Victoria dropped from a run to a jog as the two wizards approached. Human-shaped piles of dirt flanked them on either side. The dirt-men lacked any obvious eyes.

  Ramon frowned. “What are those?”

  “I’m thinking it’s kind of like May’s specialty,” Trey offered. “Except they’re doing it with dirt instead of statues.” He sighed and shook his head. “It’s not as satisfying beating down those kinds of things.”
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  “I never did care much for that kind of magic.”

  The wizards and their makeshift army walked toward the bounty hunters, the two bounties grinning from ear to ear.

  “They look sure of themselves,” Trey offered.

  “That’ll make this more satisfying,” Victoria responded.

  The roar of fireballs sounded in the distance.

  “Sounds like the big man is getting into it,” Trey muttered. “We better get to it, too.” He shook his head. “We’re with the Brownstone Agency,” he shouted. “You have level-four bounties on you for a list of crimes so long I don’t even feel like mentioning all of them, so why don’t you just be nice about this and surrender? You’re done, boys. Don’t waste our time and yours.”

  “Bounty-hunter scum,” one of the wizards called, a tall thin man who contrasted with his stout partner. “You have no idea who you’re facing. You think we’re afraid of you?”

  Trey adjusted his tie. “I definitely know who I’m facing, but the question is, do you? If you did, then yeah, you’d damned well be afraid.”

  A massive boom shook the area. Everyone, including the wizards, glanced into the distance to see the rising plume of dirt and smoke.

  The thin wizard snickered. “Whatever other team you had is already dead. I’m just trying to decide how much we should toy with you before we kill you.”

  Trey laughed. “Really, fool? You think our other team is dead? Do you know who that other team is?”

  “A bunch of corpses?” The wizard shrugged. “I don’t care.”

  Trey gave him a wide grin, his eyes filled with amusement. “Nah. James Brownstone in the flesh. Armored flesh, but still the flesh. Even if by some tiny chance you get by us, and by some tiny chance you get by our backup, and by some miniscule chance you get by the AET, you really think you’re gonna escape the Granite Ghost?” He laughed. “If you do, you’re dumber than I thought.”

  Fear flashed across the wizard’s face before resignation crept in to replace it. “James Brownstone’s just a man who ran away from bounty hunting. It won’t matter to you if he catches us or not, because you’ll be dead soon.” He pointed his wand and the dirt-men charged, their collective movement fueling a cacophony of soft thuds.

  Trey snorted. “Let’s do it hard, then.”

  Victoria pointed her wand and chanted a spell. A golden blast blew off the head of a dirt-man and it collapsed into a normal pile of dirt and rock. She took down another.

  Ramon flourished his wand with a big grin before shouting his own incantation. A blue-white bolt of lightning crackled from the wand, striking one dirt-man before arcing to two more. The first target fell to the ground. The other two continued forward, only slightly slowed, blackened holes in them.

  More rose from the ground at the chant of the thin wizard.

  Trey wasn’t about to waste anti-magic bullets on a bunch of dirt piles, but there were too many of the damned things between him and the wizards.

  Victoria and Ramon continued firing, downing the advancing army. Trey took his chance and sprinted to the side. If he could flank the wizards and get close, he could use his gloves. They granted him strength, and Zoe had increased their offensive and defensive power through the years, but they still required him to be able to land a punch.

  A squad of dirt-men broke away from the main army to charge him. Their run was more a jog than a sprint, but their sheer numbers ensured his surprise attack from the rear strategy was doomed.

  Trey growled in frustration and met the first dirt-man with a solid punch through its head. His opponent collapsed into its components. A kick sent another one to the ground but didn’t finish it off. His punch through the chest of third dirt-man wasn’t any more effective, so Trey followed up with a hook that knocked its head off.

  “At least I know where we have to hit,” Trey muttered.

  A few of Trey’s foes got in hits of their own. The powerful blows stung, but they failed to bring down the magical shield emanating from his gloves and a recent anniversary gift, his otherwise-unassuming silk tie. There were a lot of perks that came from being married to a powerful witch.

  His partners continued to keep their distance from the army, their magical attacks finishing enemies off without risk.

  A flurry of punches from Trey sent more of the enemy into piles, but new enemies kept growing from the ground closer to the wizards.

  Trey glanced toward the bounties and frowned. A problem had arisen that wasn’t made of dirt. “Yo, I only see one guy,” he murmured. He didn’t need to be loud since the field team all had comm gear, with the exception of James. “Backup team, be ready in case he’s coming your way.”

  “Will do, Trey,” the backup team replied over the comm in unison.

  “Same here,” Victoria replied quietly through the receiver. “I don’t know when I lost him. Ramon?”

  “Crap,” the wizard replied. “I was too focused on Mr. Clean’s nightmare army.” He punctuated his sentence with another blast into the enemy.

  Trey downed a few more dirt-men and sprinted a few yards away. Ultimate-enhanced wizards didn’t disappear without reason. Maybe the bastard had decided to let his friend take all the heat once he saw that the bounty hunters weren’t afraid of the dirt-man army.

  “Not only that, these guys are endless,” Trey complained. “Even if they’re easy to beat. If these wizards were normal, I’d say they’d run out of juice, but who knows how long they can keep going with the Ultimate?”

  “Ramon, cover me,” Victoria replied. “I’m going to charge up and carve a path through.” She began a rapid chant.

  “Okay.” Ramon followed up with two quicker but less powerful lightning blasts, but each was sufficient to down enemies.

  While Trey respected the flexibility and power spells brought to a battle, there was something satisfying and straightforward about just shooting or punching someone. He didn’t need to think to use his artifacts. He just needed to fight.

  Trey refocused on the horde trying to take him down. Victoria and Ramon could handle their own trouble. He needed to either get through the horde or come up with a new and better plan.

  After destroying a few more dirt-men, Trey spotted a small hole in their formation closer to his side. He grinned to himself.

  “I think I spotted our boy,” Trey whispered while decapitating another animate pile of earth. “Or at least where I think he is. Just need a distraction.” A bright golden glow caught his attention out of the corner of his eye, and he jumped back and glanced that way.

  A dozen glyphs inscribed in a circle of cerulean light floated in front of the chanting Victoria. Trey had seen this spell before.

  “Yeah, that would make for a nice distraction.”

  Victoria shouted the last part of her spell, and scores of golden orbs burst from the glyphs and showered the dirt-man army. Explosions ripped up the ground as they obliterated the magical creations, knocking them back into nothing more than the common dust and rock. Dust to dust, indeed.

  Trey laughed as he realized they might not clear much of a profit on the job after they got done paying for all the damage to the golf course.

  The witch’s rain of golden death continued. It blew a wide hole in the enemy line and knocked the wizard controlling it to the ground, groaning and half-burned. The army swayed in place, now easy targets for Ramon. Victoria fell to one knee and took a deep breath.

  Trey charged into the survivors closer to him. Many of them hadn’t been hit by Victoria’s barrage, and the opening he had spotted earlier remained. He shoved and punched the dirt-men out of the way as he closed on the opening, his hand reaching inside his jacket.

  The other wizard shimmered into existence as Trey finished pulling his gun out of his pocket. Trey lowered his aim and squeezed off several quick shots.

  The sneer on the bounty’s face disappeared when the anti-magic bullets weren’t deflected by his shield. They were slowed, but the three-shot cluster still managed to cl
ip him in the leg. The wizard grimaced and stumbled to the side, bleeding.

  Trey finished his approach and jumped into the air, cocking his other fist back. He slammed his enchanted glove hard against the head of the shielded wizard, and the man flew backward with a grunt and crashed into a couple of the dirt-men.

  Before the groaning wizard could rise, Trey marched over to him and knelt, his gun pointed right at him. “I don’t want to waste the money shooting you with my expensive-ass bullets, but I will if I have to.”

  The wizard’s hand flexed, but his wand was out of reach. He groaned and let his head fall back. “I can’t believe it turned out this way. The Ultimate was supposed to make us unbeatable.”

  Trey shrugged. “Don’t screw with the Brownstone Agency and you won’t end up messed up.”

  The thin wizard passed out, and the dirt-men began falling to the ground in chunks.

  Trey narrowed his eyes and smirked at the bleeding wizard. “I’ve read about you. You aren’t major players. You had to get your Ultimate from somewhere, and you just suddenly show up and figure you’re all that.” He grinned. It was time to go all in on OG Trey. “I don’t give two shits about you stonewalling the cops, but you’re gonna tell me right now where you got that Ultimate.”

  The wizard spat. “I’m not telling you shit, bounty hunter.”

  A shadow passed overhead, and the armored James landed about ten yards away.

  Trey nodded toward him. “You want to tell the big man there, don’t you?” He stood and holstered his gun. “Because who knows what’ll happen if he gets pissed off? Maybe I’ll tell him you insulted his daughter,” he murmured.

  “I didn’t say shit about his daughter.” The wizard glared at Trey.

  Trey grinned. “I didn’t say you did. I just said I’d tell him you did.”

  The wizard swallowed. “Boris Egorov.”

  Trey laughed. “Now, that wasn’t so hard.”

  Chapter Eight

  Trey leaned against James’ truck as armed police loaded the wounded bounties into separate ambulances. James remained in his armor, his helmet retracted. Shay had extracted a promise about public nudity after a few other high-profile fights, and he didn’t want to open his suitcase yet and fish out clothes.